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me, me, me.

Betsy. eightteen. august27. taken. united states. c.fresh. volleyball & track. likes baking. scrapbooking. RayP<3. webdesigning. reading. water. file folders. hates spiders. blinding lights. mosquitos. orange soda. super loud music. is jumpy. self-conscious. paranoid. careful. at times, carefree. super lazy.

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archives

dec.09

schedule

jan. 01 ; new year (2010)
feb. 14 ; valentines day
mar. 12 ; octavio's birthday
apr. 07 ; hobbes' birthday
jul. 17 ; jess's birthday
aug. 27 ; my birthday
oct. 07 ; anniversary
oct. 31 ; halloween
nov. 10 ; lion's birthday
nov. 28 ; werdna's birthday
dec. 25 ; christmas

layout

current layout
Made it with jasc paint shop pro. very little effort needed. just wanted a change of eyes. liked how it turned out. a hard decision between another one. called the City of Lights, based on Paris.

X;X;X;X;X;X;X;

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WELCOME!

Bonjour. Bienvenue! Okay, okay. This isn't really a french site but it is my personal blog, Confessions. This blog is about a girl named Betsy, who writes her personal thoughts about her life. Read it if you may but please, no emails about how BORING it is.

my life in ruins.

March 7, 2010
The winter olympics has ended! I actually got to go up to Vancouver to see the sights. It was awesome! Took pictures, of course. I was only there for an hour or two though. Saddening, I know. The new movie, Alice in Wonderland, came out. The people working at Collossus (the theatre in Langley, BC) have these really cool mad hatter hats. I want to be the mad hatter for Halloween, so I asked them where I could buy one. Too bad they don't sell them. =( Although, I did find some lacey gloves that would be perfect for the costume. I watched Shutter Island. There's a lot of twists and turns in it. Quite exciting to watch. I jumped once during that movie so watch out for that moment. I did enjoy the plot.

My life is in ruins. I made my decision. I chose to stick with Ray. I can't tell you how hard this is. I told Hobbes the decision and my heart plunged into the deepest depths of the sea. I have a pain where it didn't hurt before. It makes me wonder if I have made the right decision to stick with Ray. Life is short and I should take risks, but should I throw away two years of my life for this? Not to mention, Hobbes lives about an hour drive away from I do. Ray lives a ten minute drive away from me. Hobbes makes me feel like I'm on top of the world, but I settled for happy. Happy is what I'll have to stick to. I have never broken someone's heart before and it hurts to do so. It feels like a break up and although Hobbes and I never dated, we both loved each other. I do love him, I still do. I doubt we're going to talk anytime soon but that's life, I guess. I wish it wasn't so terrible to Hobbes. I wish I could be the one who makes him happy. Under different circumstances, I would've chosen him.

Choosing between two that I love dearly has caused me to sink down into depression. I have been unproductive this past week and you are able to see that by the amount of homework that needs to get done. My mind has been distracted and I doubt teachers will believe in the excuse of being depressed. It is 2 am and I haven't gotten anything done. I've cried my tears and can't concentrate. Oh, I've decided not to go to school in spring quarter. I, myself, do not have enough money to pay for it and I don't want Ray's parents to pay for it. It is too generous of a gift and I refuse to accept it. My mom uses money against me, therefore she is out of the picture. I am doing horribly in school right now and have decided, I just need a break from it all. Just need a break from life.

I shall sink back into my hole and perhaps live to see another day.

heartbreak and sadness.

February 22, 2010
Yeahh, a lot of THINGS have been happening lately. You can classify it as drama but its not at all your typical drama show. So, Happy New Years! Very belated but better late than never. I made many new friends from the New Years party I attended. They have now become the closest group I can call family. My biological family is not functioning well right now, but we'll get into that later. Sorry for no new layout. Like I said before, a lot has been happening. Valentine's Day rolled right past us and so did Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I have concluded that there just needs to be a ginormous update ( if that is how you spell giant and enormous ). Things need to be said and things need to get done.

VANCOUVER 2010 WINTER OLYMPICS! <3 GO USA!!! GO CANADA!!!

So uhh, where to start? School.. I am supposedly working on homework right now but I am falling behind. Reason : I have been hanging out with my friends more. Haha, the twist to this reason is that my friends live in Canada. The commute there and back takes up much of my time, however it is worth every second. I'm doing fine in my classes. I do wish that Calculus was more challenging... imagine a student saying that! English is my weakest point right now. Many of my essays tend to be general and I'm never specific enough. Sociology is really interesting. I enjoy that class because I'm actually learning something new! =) It's entertaining to learn how people act and react. Everything else seems to be fine in this department. I did apply to the University of Washington as a transfer student. * fingers crossed * I hope I get in!

Biologicals. I don't consider them family because they do not ACT as if they are family. The "krew" I am and my boyfriend are the only things keeping my head held high. Knowing I have these people to support me gives me the strength to move on with my life. I have not talked with my mom for about a week now and she has recently taken away my cellphone. All I do at home is go on the computer and sleep. The rest of my time is divded to school, chores and my boyfriend's house. There's the family update.

OKAY. The "drama" part. I have met a group of friends during new years. Their nicknames I give them are Hobbes, Lion and Werdna. We and others call ourselves the "krew". There were six of us in one group but that has migrated to a group of two and a group of three. I am in the group with Hobbes and Werdna. Jess and Lion are in the other group. Jess and I are sisters, Hobbes and Wernda are brothers, Lion and Jess's ex-boyfriend are brothers. No, not blood related but mind related. Yeah, we're a close knit group. Haha. Gotta smile, once in a while. So, Werdna has a crush on Lion, Hobbes has a crush on me and Lion and Jess are becoming best friends quick. I do have a boyfriend, it's not Hobbes. Werdna is heartbroken because Lion refuses to talk to Werdna and Jess is heartbroken from her break up. Also, Lion and I are becoming close friends which will make things awkward if the krew does split apart. * sighs * It's a troublesome present time.

To keep it short, I have a boyfriend but I feel this connection with Hobbes ( yes.. he is the one who likes me ). I just don't know what to do about it. I have thought about it constantly and trying to solve this problem. No success so far.

Anyway, this is the gist of my life and ONLY the short of it.



































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